How To Throw a Party in the 19th Century
Throwing a party in the 19th century was an exercise in extremes, ranging from Gilded Age glamour to grassroots get-togethers after a long day in the fields.
At the start of the 19th century, many Americans were part of rural agrarian communities where daily life revolved around farming, homemaking, and survival. In the ensuing years, industrialization and immigration made major impacts on the country. Social and economic divides became more stark, with wealthy families in urban areas enjoying more leisure time and access to luxuries, while working-class and immigrant families often labored long hours in factories, workshops, or on farmlands.
For much of the century, having the time and resources for hosting elaborate parties was a privilege reserved for the upper class, but people of all walks of life enjoyed socializing. Here’s a look at how different groups of Americans partied like it was 1899.
Elegant Affairs for the Elite
For the wealthiest patrons of the Western world, throwing a party in the 19th century was an elaborate affair designed to show off status. The grand ball was the pinnacle of high-society entertainment, and was often held in a lavish home or rented hall. Balls, like most upper-class parties, were meticulously planned, and guests arrived dressed to impress — and to dance, although there was minimal letting loose with the strict choreography. The evening often began with a polonaise, a stately march that showed off guests’ stunning attire, followed by waltzes and quadrilles.
Whether it was a ball, a formal dinner party, or a garden party, hosts ensured no detail was overlooked. Preparation took weeks, starting with handwritten or engraved invitations. Careful consideration was also given to the guest list. It was important not only that guests be of equal social standing, but also, according to Florence Hartley’s 1872 Ladies’ Book of Etiquette, that they be good conversationalists. Of course, table settings were quite particular, as was the actual act of eating. One 1869 etiquette guide directed dinner party guests to not “take a long, deep breath” after eating, lest you rudely appear fatigued by the whole ordeal.
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A Party for the Rest of Us
Not every 19th-century party consisted of such formalities — middle-class families and rural communities took part in simpler, more communal and free-spirited celebrations. In the mid-1800s, Americans embraced the long-running European tradition of picnic parties. Though they originated as indoor affairs, by the time the tradition made it overseas, these parties took place outdoors and weren’t as wholesome as we might picture today. “Americans saw picnics as a way to let loose and indulge,” author Mary Ellen W. Hearn wrote in Picnicking in the Northeastern United States, 1840-1900. “They even encouraged flirtation, sexual games, and opportunities to indulge in a bit of hanky-panky along with all that food.”
In rural communities, socializing was often tied to the rhythms of domestic or agricultural life. Quilting bees brought women together to stitch quilts while exchanging stories, skills, and of course, gossip. The work culminated in a feast — and possibly an impromptu dance, with others joining in. Husking parties, also known as “frolics,” saw neighbors gathering to husk corn for the winter. Songs would be sung and games played until the work was done, at which point the huskers would share a meal and gather late into the night while the young workers scurried off looking for romance. Dance halls and their festivities were also an integral part of small communities all over the U.S.; some still stand today, testaments to the importance of these lively gatherings.
Immigrants Bring New Customs
Between 1815 and 1915, some 30 million Europeans arrived in the U.S. Over time, their unique customs became the life of the party, leading to what are now among the country’s most deeply established celebratory traditions. Irish immigrants staged one of the first recorded St. Patrick’s Day parades in the U.S. in 1737; by the mid-1800s, they celebrated at homes and in the streets in wild revelry every year.
German immigrants, meanwhile, many of whom settled in the cities of Milwaukee and St. Louis, not only changed every holiday party in the U.S. by introducing Christmas trees to the country, but also revolutionized the way America imbibes. As their lager beer quickly grew in popularity, so too did their beer gardens. These lively hubs drew working folks, young families, and courting couples. They gathered to socialize, enjoy live music, and relax outdoors in the open-air establishments — all while enjoying a brew, of course. While the specifics have evolved, these customs remain at the heart of every good party.
