6 Strange Rules Ladies-in-Waiting Had to Follow
Being born into royalty has always come with many unique privileges, including having a large number of servants and staff to cater to your every need and whim. One of the most trusted positions held in royal households has been that of the lady-in-waiting, or court lady, a title given to the companions of queens, princesses, and other female members of royal or noble lineage. While ladies-in-waiting may seem like relics of the past, they remain a fixture in many royal European courts, and being selected for the position is considered both a prestigious honor and a lifelong commitment. Upon her death in 2022, Queen Elizabeth II had several ladies-in-waiting, some of whom had served her for more than 60 years.
The origins of this royal role go back centuries, and the duties and expectations that come with it vary depending on the time period and the specific customs of the court. In the past, typical responsibilities included providing companionship, assisting with bathing and dressing, managing the wardrobe and jewelry, helping to navigate social situations, writing correspondence, overseeing servants, and running errands. Ladies-in-waiting have traditionally been chosen from noble and aristocratic families, and were selected based on their social standing, education, and suitability for the role.
Well educated and fluent in court etiquette, the ladies-in-waiting in European courts from the medieval era through the 19th century held a significant place in the royal entourage and played an indispensable role in supporting their mistresses across various aspects of their public and private lives. While there were many rules and expectations for royal ladies-in-waiting, here are a few of their more surprising responsibilities.
They Were Expected to Dedicate Their Lives to Their Mistress
While not a servant in the traditional sense, ladies-in-waiting were once expected to dedicate a considerable amount of time to their mistress’s needs, which sometimes meant giving up any personal life of their own. Queen Charlotte, the wife of King George III and queen of Great Britain and Ireland from 1761 until her death in 1818, had particularly rigid expectations for the court ladies who served her and her daughters. She did not allow outsiders into the palace and even forbade Fanny Burney, a senior lady-in-waiting who held the position of Keeper of the Robes, from maintaining or forming any relationships without the queen’s knowledge.
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They Slept in the Queen’s Bedchamber
Historically, a lady-in-waiting had many duties and was expected to fulfill her responsibilities around the clock, even while her mistress was sleeping. In fact, it wasn’t uncommon for one or more court ladies to share a sleeping space with a royal woman. Elizabeth I, an unmarried monarch in a male-dominated society, shared her bedchamber with a trusted court lady, a decision that safeguarded both her safety and reputation. Given Elizabeth’s bouts of insomnia and fear of the dark, this arrangement provided her with comfort and reassurance, and allowed her to have a trusted confidant always nearby.
They Kept Their Mistress Entertained
It wasn’t all work and no play for royal companions. In their free time, ladies-in-waiting enjoyed a variety of hobbies, including reading and embroidery. The women who attended Henry VIII’s fourth wife, Anne of Cleves, were expected to excel in the pursuits enjoyed by noblewomen, including dancing, singing, playing musical instruments, and engaging in dice and card games. Some ladies-in-waiting even played dress-up. As a distraction from the challenges of marriage and court life, Marie Antoinette had a replica of a farming village built on the grounds of the Palace of Versailles. There, she and her ladies-in-waiting dressed in costumes and pretended to be peasants.
They Had to Navigate Catching the Eye of the King
Being a queen’s lady-in-waiting often meant learning how to diplomatically, and discreetly, deal with a king. Sometimes, the relationship between a court lady and the king became scandalously intimate. Three of Henry VIII’s six wives — Anne Boleyn, Jane Seymour, and Catherine Howard — served as ladies-in-waiting to the wives who preceded them, while his last wife, Catherine Parr, held the position to his eldest daughter, Mary Tudor. However, not every lady-in-waiting yielded to a king’s desires. Frances Stuart, who served King Charles II’s wife, Catherine of Braganza, steadfastly rebuffed Charles’ advances. Despite the king’s enduring affection for the beautiful noblewoman, Frances prioritized her duties as a lady-in-waiting and sought a respectable marriage for herself.
They Traveled, and Moved, With Their Mistress
Along with attending their mistresses in their royal households, ladies-in-waiting also traveled alongside them as chaperones and companions. If their mistress moved to a new country for marriage or education, they often went with her. At the age of 5, Mary, Queen of Scots, was betrothed to Francis, the son of France’s King Henry II and the dauphin of France. In preparation for her future role as queen, she was sent to France and was accompanied by her four equally young ladies-in-waiting, who were known as the “four Marys” because they all shared the same name as their mistress.
They Had to Do the Queen’s Bidding or Risk Banishment
History is filled with stories of court ladies paying the price for their illicit activities, with punishments ranging from banishment to imprisonment to execution. But at least one lady-in-waiting had her reputation tarnished undeservedly. In 1839, Flora Hastings, a lady-in-waiting to Queen Victoria, found herself embroiled in scandal when she was accused of having an illicit relationship with John Conroy, an influential adviser to Victoria’s mother. When Flora exhibited abdominal swelling and refused a medical examination, speculation arose that she was carrying Conroy’s child. Victoria demanded that Flora undergo an examination by the queen’s personal physician, James Clark, or be banished from court. When Flora eventually relented to the intrusive and humiliating exam, she was diagnosed with an abdominal tumor, not pregnancy, and died a short time later of liver cancer.
